To Love and Die in LAX
by lawgirlalways
Summary: An insert of what happened at the airport during To Love and Die in LA.


Kate Beckett slumped in the plastic chair, the weight of the world on her shoulders. She had thought catching Royce's killer would bring her some semblance of peace. Instead, she just felt defeated, broken, aching. What if catching her mother's killer felt the same- heartbroken rather than relief. No, she couldn't afford to think like that. Not at that moment. Not in a public airport, surrounded by strangers. She needed a distraction.

Beckett thought of Royce's letter, but changed her mind. That wasn't going to help her. She'd get too lost in the thoughts she was trying to ignore. She needed something else, she needed-

Richard Castle was coming to join her, two giant soft pretzels in hand. He handed one to her, a brilliant smile on his face. She couldn't help but to smile back.

"How's Alexis?" She asked around a bite.

"She's good. Says 'hi'." Castle spewed crumbs as he answered. Beckett chuckled.

He swallowed before speaking again. "What about you? You okay?"

She distracted herself with another bite of pretzel. She knew the answer already, and didn't like it. It wasn't an answer she'd want to share with Castle and his piercing stare; the one that looked right into her soul and instantly knew everything about her. He had given her that look at the hotel, sitting so close to her she could feel his warmth. She had almost drowned in it, wanted to in fact- just let go of it all with him. But she was terrified. She couldn't let go. She ran away at the hotel, and she wanted to run away at the airport.

One of the things she was running to was Josh. He was a safety net, and she knew it. Yet, she couldn't stop herself. He let her be as distant as she wanted. He didn't push her buttons. He was steady. Except he wasn't-

"Can't wait to be back in New York." Beckett finally settled on an answer.

Castle nodded in agreement. "Oh there's no place like home."

Cracking a small smile, she focused on finishing her snack; mostly to avoid that gaze of his.

He either noticed and didn't want to comment on it, or he didn't know she was attempting to avoid him. No matter the answer, Castle turned his attention to the forming crowd around them. He was more than likely making up their stories in his head, trying to figure out what drove them to that particular moment. The thought made Beckett grin.

After a moment he turned back to her, a pout on his lips. "We still have a while before we even board."

"You run out of ways to keep yourself busy already?" Beckett smirked.

Castle collapsed his head in his hand, continuing the pout. "Yeah."

Rolling her eyes, she reached for the bag at her feet. "Here, I have a book you can read."

"You brought a book?"

Beckett glanced up from unzipping her duffel. "Yeah? What else was I gonna do for six hours?"

"Talk to me." He beamed at his response. "I am fairly entertaining, if I do say so myself."

Sighing, she leaned back in her chair with her arms folded and eyebrow raised. "Keep in mind, I did pack before I knew you had followed me."

Castle feigned his innocence, something she noticed he definitely picked up from his mother. "I was simply going to check in on the Nikki Heat production. I would never provide my partner with backup, emotional or otherwise."

For the infinite time with him, she rolled her eyes. "Do you want to read the book, or not?"

"Yeah." Castle shrugged.

Beckett reached for her book again, and again he stopped her. "Wait. What book is it?"

She sighed. "Does it matter?"

"Can I guess?"

Beckett just slouched into her seat, indicating for him to go ahead. As annoyed as she might have appeared, she was enjoying herself. His excitement over that little game brought an easy smile to her lips. His wonderful blue eyes sparkled, and his face lit up with joy. He looked like a little boy on Christmas. She may gripe whenever he acted like an annoying twelve year old, or a nine year old on a sugar rush. But the pure happiness he had had always left her awed. It was sweet, and it was cute, and it made her lo-

"Okay. Okay." Castle brought himself out of his thoughts. "So this has to be a book you've read a lot."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. You can't focus on a new book on a plane, and you might want to forget the book and engage in conversation with a ruggedly handsome stranger."

Beckett barked out a laugh.

Castle smiled in satisfaction at her response. "It's also gotta be something you can fall asleep reading, as one does on a plane."

Her laughter stops. "I didn't fall asleep. Just rested my eyes."

Castle shrugged. "You weren't responding."

"I was thinking."

"You were drooling." His final comment silenced her into a glare. He smirked it off. "As I was saying, it's an old book. One you know the story of fairly well. It's a book that doesn't require much thought."

"So one of yours?"

"Wow." Castle gasped while she chuckled. "Low blow Detective, low blow."

"You give up?"

"Not in the slightest." He leaned towards her, narrowing his eyes daringly.

She snorted. "So you gonna guess, or keep stalling?"

"Mhmm." Castle exaggerated his thinking pose. He was cute in that silly way; the way that made her roll her eyes but crack a smile. "I think I've got it."

"Bout time." Beckett teased.

He was the one to roll his eyes. "Despite your little crack, you obviously brought one of my books. They are great for distracting you from the world, but also easy to understand for multiple enjoyable reads."

"Don't you have a publicist for this?"

Castle ignored her quip. "You wouldn't want to bring one that reminds you of work. So I'm guessing _Storm's Last Stand_. Wait no. _In a Hail of Bullets_. That's what book you brought."

She raised an eyebrow. "That your final answer?"

Nodding enthusiastically, he looked to her bag. With the best poker face she could muster, the one she knew he couldn't read, Beckett reached for the book. She pulled it out and placed it in his hands, watching his face drop in disappointment.

" _Harry Potter_?" Castle stared in shock at both the book and Beckett.

" _And The Sorcerer's Stone_." She added, smirking."You were right, Castle. It's an old book I know the story of really well."

As much fun as witnessing Castle's stunned expression was, Beckett was half tempted to show him the second book in her duffle. She had thrown _Harry Potter_ in her bag during her tornado packing for something to do on the plane. She saw the second book on her coffee table before she left. It was her mother's- signed and everything. She didn't think much of it when she shoved it in her bag. It had always made her feel close to her; maybe she needed the connection, the support of her mother while she was reeling.

Beckett wanted to share that with Castle. Take out _In a Hail of Bullets_ and tell him how much his books meant to her and her mother. She could tell him how much he meant to her. His smile, and kind words, and supportiveness were everything to her. She wanted to say so at the hotel, but the words got caught in her throat stumbling into a simple "you're not so bad yourself". Instead, she zipped the bag and shoved it back under her seat. Change of setting, and she still wasn't brave and honest enough for him. It simply wasn't the time for doing the things she wanted to.

The overhead announcement startled Beckett from her thoughts and Castle from his page. "Guess it's time to go home." Handing the book back, he began to get ready to board.

"Keep it." She waved him away once she stood to go. "Don't think I can handle another round of your incessant talking."

He copied her smug expression. "Thanks. I'll need it when you fall asleep again."

Beckett paused to glare at Castle, but he was already heading towards the gate. Sighing, she followed. Without him as her distraction, even in that short moment of boarding, she felt gutted. The past couple of days had done nothing to lift the burden off her shoulders, nor did Royce's letter weighing down her bag. There was a difference Castle made in her life. She had been able to see that for a while. But the emotional aspect was new. Well, maybe new in the sense that she was willing to admit to it. He made her smile, he made her laugh, he made her happy; but most importantly, he made her forget what was holding her down. She figured that was what she liked about him most- his gigantic, loving heart.

"You ready for another cramped six hours?" Castle grumbled once they made it past the desk.

"For someone who travels a lot, you really hate traveling."

"It's the worst. But honestly, having you along helps." He turned to her with one of his bright smiles that crinkled his sparkling eyes. She smiled back.

Yeah, having him around helped her too.


End file.
